


we're going to get along like a house on fire (there may be no survivors)

by kayteedancer



Series: November Challenge [13]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, For Science!, Gen, It just kind of happened, Jane Foster Loves Science, Jane didn't mean to set things on fire, Lab Manager Darcy Lewis, Mad Science, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 06:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12721761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayteedancer/pseuds/kayteedancer
Summary: “Mr. Parker, it’s nice to meet you!  I’m sorry you couldn’t have come at a better time,” Jane chuckled self-deprecatingly.“Dr. Foster, it is an honor!” he enthused, shaking Jane’s hand excitedly.  “And don’t worry about the fires.  Mr. Stark used to set something on fire at least once a week.  More like two or three times, if I’m being honest.  He said that no progress could be made without fiery mistakes.  And please, call me Peter!”Darcy watched Jane’s eyes light up in glee and barely resisted the urge to drop her head into her hands.  “Oh god,” Darcy groaned.  “Not another one.  I can’t handle another pyromaniac genius.”





	we're going to get along like a house on fire (there may be no survivors)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there everyone! Here's my addition for Day 13! It's a Thor/MCU/Spider-Man: Homecoming crossover. Though, does it really count as a crossover if Spider-Man: Homecoming is technically part of the MCU? Anyway, the prompt for today was: _“You have beautiful eyes.” “Complimenting me won’t distract me from the fire, A.”_
> 
> I think I filled the prompt pretty well this time, peeps! I'm excited about it :D
> 
> To all of you that have read/left kudos/commented on any of my stories (or multiple of my stories), **THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU**! Every comment I get helps me to become a better writer and that is something I cannot thank you all enough for. You're the best  <3
> 
> Last but not least, if you want to talk about any of my stories so far, or any of the fandoms I write about/follow, don't hesitate to come visit me over on tumblr (sleepeatdancedream)! I would love to talk about them, believe me. And I could maybe swing some prompts too ;) *hint hint*
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy Day 13!
> 
> Title is a quote by Terry Pratchett.

Darcy smoothed down her charcoal pencil skirt and tugged at the cobalt blue silk of her blouse, shifting her weight in her heels.  She normally didn’t have to dress up to for work, her slouchy knitted sweaters, jeans and t-shirts were usually more than acceptable.  But since she was technically the lab manager of Jane’s lab (affectionately known as Star Lab), and Jane was supposed to be getting a new Science Minion today, Darcy wanted to at least look the part of an authority figure when she gave the Minion the grand tour.

Darcy wrinkled her nose as a strand of hair fell out of her smooth up-do and fell into her eyes.  Blowing at it impatiently for a while unsuccessfully, Darcy had finally caved and tucked it manually behind her ear when she heard someone clear their throat near her.  Her head snapped up and she took in the sight of a young man, barely 18 if even that old, that seemed to be nearly _vibrating_ with excitement, an irrepressible grin lighting up his features.

“Miss Lewis?” he asked excitedly.  Darcy nodded and the boy’s smile became megawatt bright.  “My name is Peter Parker; I’m so excited to meet you and to get to work with you and Dr. Foster!” Peter enthused and Darcy chuckled lightly as she offered her hand to him.

“Peter, just call me Darcy.  I’m not old enough yet to be called Miss Lewis,” she tossed in with a wink and Darcy watched a light flush spread over the young man’s cheeks as he shook her hand firmly.  “If you’ll follow me, I can give you a tour of where you’ll be working and you can get a feel of what you can expect.  Sound good?”

Peter nodded so enthusiastically Darcy thought he might nod his head right off his neck.  Trying to suppress a smirk and only being moderately successful about it, Darcy ushered the new Minion into the elevator.  Trusting JARVIS to take her to the Star Lab, Darcy turned to Peter as the elevator started to ascend.

“So, Peter, what brought you to the Star Lab?” Darcy asked, and Peter’s brow furrowed briefly in confusion.

“Do you mean Dr. Foster’s lab?” he clarified and Darcy smiled.

“Yep!  You know, astrophysicist, space, stars, put it all together and you get Star Lab,” Darcy explained flippantly and Peter chuckled.

“I get it,” he replied and shrugged a single shoulder.  “As for how I ended up here, I did an internship with Mr. Stark and Stark Industries R&D through most of high school so when I graduated and was looking for a job that would help pay bills during my time at Empire State University, Mr. Stark sent me some of Dr. Foster’s research to look over.  And, _it’s fascinating,_ ” Peter breathed.

Darcy smiled at Peter’s enthusiasm before stating, “But I thought your focus was on Biomedical engineering?”

Peter nodded, “Yeah, I am planning on pursuing a degree in biomedical engineering at ESU, but Dr. Foster’s research definitely has a biomedical component to it.  The Asgardians all use the Einstein-Rosen Bridges and suffer no ill-effects right?  But when humans use it there are some pretty gnarly side effects?  What if it has something to do with Asgardian biology and physiology that they don’t suffer any ill effects?  What if I could engineer something to combat that?  Just think of the possibilities!”  Peter rambled.

Darcy nodded along with a small smile on her face as the young man waxed poetic about how Rainbow Bridges could revolutionize almost every scientific field until the elevator came to a halt.

“Your floor, Miss Lewis,” JARVIS stated matter-of-factly and Darcy waved up at the ceiling.

“Thanks, J!” she chirped.

“Yes!  Thank you, JARVIS!” Peter echoed.

Without further ado, Darcy led Peter through the security doors, pausing just before the entrance.  “Here we are!  I give you: Star Lab!” Darcy announced as she pushed the doors open.

Chaos reigned.  There were a multitude of small fires burning at various points all across the lab that the other Science Minions were frantically trying to put out.  Their exposed skin was all covered in a fine layer of black soot which showed that they had been at it for a while and there were still so many fires left to go.

Darcy felt her eye begin to twitch as she took everything in, watching Peter closely out of the corner of her vision as she waded into the mess.

“Jane!” she bellowed as she scanned the room for Jane’s tell-tale flannel.  Darcy received no response even as the Minions all hesitated with what they were doing, watching their lab manager carefully.

Darcy sighed exasperatedly before pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger.  “Marco!” she called out.

“Polo!” she heard Jane reply from somewhere to her left.  Darcy turned to look just as Jane’s head popped up over the lab table.

“Darcy!” she exclaimed as she scrambled to her feet.  “Wow, you look great!  That outfit is killer; professional and sexy as hell.”  As Jane moved toward her, Darcy took in the state of her boss/best friend.  Jane’s skin was also covered in soot, her flannel singed with holes and the bottom half seemed black and burned.  Her hair was scraped back from her face in a sloppy, half-soot covered bun and her smile was sheepish.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?  Because they are!  So warm, such a gorgeous, deep, stormy blue,” Jane continued and Darcy rolled her eyes.

“First off, thank you; I put a lot of effort into this outfit.  Secondly, complimenting me won’t distract me from the fires, Jane.  And third, meet your new Science Minion, Peter Parker.  That is, if he still wants to work for you after seeing all this,” Darcy glared at her boss and saw Jane’s eyes go wide in shock.

“Oh!” she whirled toward the young man.  “Mr. Parker, it’s nice to meet you!  I’m sorry you couldn’t have come at a better time,” Jane chuckled self-deprecatingly and Darcy nearly sighed in relief when she saw a smile come back to Peter’s face.

“Dr. Foster, it is an honor!” he enthused, shaking Jane’s hand excitedly.  “And don’t worry about the fires.  Mr. Stark used to set something on fire at least once a week.  More like two or three times, if I’m being honest.  He said that no progress could be made without fiery mistakes.  And please, call me Peter!”

Darcy watched Jane’s eyes light up in glee and barely resisted the urge to drop her head into her hands.  “Oh god,” Darcy groaned.  “Not another one.  I can’t handle another pyromaniac genius.”

Jane cackled as she tugged Peter towards her whiteboard, miraculously the only thing not covered in soot.  “I think you’re going to fit right in, Peter,” Jane snickered.  “Welcome to Star Lab.  Let’s get to work.”

“Are we going to do anything about these fires, Dr. Foster?” Peter asked uncertainly, glancing around at the not insubstantial amount of fires the other Science Minions had resumed trying to put out.

“No, Darcy will handle it,” Jane waved off his concern.  “I really want to show you these calculations I made about Asgardian and human body mass –,”

Darcy watched as Peter became caught up in Jane’s orbit, the two bouncing ideas of each other rapid-fire.  Sighing once more, Darcy finally pulled out her cell phone and called Maintenance.  The Science Minions weren’t doing anything to help put out the fires other than look confused when something they tried didn’t work, so it was time to call in professionals.  Sending one last look at Jane and Peter, Darcy felt a shudder work its way down her back.

This would definitely not be the last time she called Maintenance to put out fires.  She could just  _feel_ it.


End file.
